How I Became Brave Enough To Move To New York Alone Despite My Disadvantages 

At 18, I put my life on hold to raise my little brother. Now I’m moving to New York alone. I think moving across the country is something that crosses everyone’s mind at least once-but most people never act on it. 

Leaving home for the first time, especially planning a cross-country move, would be difficult. It’s difficult to leave your family, and in some situations, it can even be considered unrealistic to start your life in a new place. 

I recently realized that I don’t know what my dream life is. Of course, having a lot of money and a big house comes to mind, possibly a family and a few pets. While these are things that I want, these truly are stereotypical wants that the media has trained me to have. 

I started to ask myself for a moment. What do I want out of life that is unique to me? What does my ideal life look like? What would I do with the money I want so bad when I get it? 

I had never imagined that I would move across the country myself. I’m from California, why would I leave? I always looked into colleges, jobs, and housing close to me. I never considered moving out of state because I knew it would be more affordable to stay close to home, to the point where I didn’t even look into what other states had to offer. 

What is Your Dream Life?

What if I told you that you can have anything and everything you want out of life without worrying about the cost? What do you want now that you have this understanding? Don’t look for inspiration, just think within yourself. If money were not considered at all, list the things you would want. Your dream life.

If the first thing that comes to mind is buying property or a home, where would you want this home to be? Is this home overlooking the beach? What design and colors are embedded in this home? How many bedrooms do you want, and why is all of this specific to you? 

If you want to start a business but you’re not sure what kind, think about what you do know. Where would it be located, and what does that location have a demand for? What things do you love that you wouldn’t mind researching for hours? What values will you establish within this company? Be specific and question every aspect of your life. 

I tried to answer some of these questions and quickly realized I didn’t know the answer to most of them. Of course, this is unique to everyone. I am going to share my story to show others how I got here. But even if your situation is different from mine, please stay open to the idea that you can have the life you desire once you know what it is as well.

My Story: Why My Dream Seems Unrealistic To Many

I have been mostly on my own since I was 18 and am in my early twenties now. I always worked hard in high school to ensure I could go to a decent college and study biology in hopes to apply to medical school eventually. My grandparents raised me because my mom wasn’t able to care for me appropriately, and my dad just had no interest. My mom did go on to have 2 more children, whom she unfortunately constantly struggled to support on her own. 

The year I graduated from high school was 2020. The pandemic affected my mother’s housing situation, and she became homeless along with my 2 siblings. My grandma took in my 16-year-old sister right away, but could not handle my 5-year-old, wild little brother because she was working overnight shifts. I saw what was going on and did not think twice. I immediately knew I was putting a pause on college to live on my own and care for my brother. 

This was a decision I knew I would never regret, but it did put me in an uncomfortable situation. I didn’t have a plan as far as what I would do if I didn’t go to college right out of high school. I had a job that paid me a few dollars above minimum wage, and with the support I had from my ex-boyfriend’s family, I was able to keep my head above water for a few years while I raised my brother.

After a few years, my brother was no longer wild but a perfect, sweet, well-mannered boy, and my grandma offered us a place in her home. My grandma took in my little brother, and he is in a happy, stable situation now. 

How I Chose Where I Wanted To Go

Fortunately, now I am at a point in my life where I feel comfortable going off to a university. I just need to figure out where I want to go. Like I initially planned, I want to study biology and eventually apply to medical school. I spent countless hours researching in-state colleges until one person briefly suggested looking into schools out of state and mentioned the WUE program. 

The Western Undergraduate Exchange (WUE) program allows students to go to college outside of the home state for more affordable tuition. That thought alone is what opened me to the idea that I can go somewhere else. 

I was over the moon and spent days researching every school on the WUE list to see what colleges I may want to attend. I realized I’m not sure what state I would want to live in. This was the first time I’ve considered living anywhere other than California. 

I knew I wanted to move to a big city where I could find opportunities and like minds everywhere. Ultimately, I came to the conclusion that if I were to move out of state, I would want to go to the most glamorized place I could possibly imagine. New York. Unfortunately, New York was not on the list. 

It was too late; the idea was already in my head. I am a big believer in manifestation, and I decided that if I want to move to New York, I can and I will, and it will not be difficult for me at all. I spent a few hours researching schools near NYC and found two or three universities that had affordable tuition. One even had free applications for a few days every year, and I found this school during that time. I applied to them immediately.

The People Closest To You Will Not Always Support Your Dreams

I can’t say I didn’t consider other options. I considered everything but decided I deserved to go study in NY for a few years. I told one of my family members, one whom I really trusted to support me. I told him my plan, that I figured out finances, and how excited and proud of myself I was that I did this and am pursuing this all on my own. 

I didn’t get the reaction I expected. He told me, “What are you talking about, bro?” and explained to me why I could never do that. He said moving across the country to go to college is only for people who have parents. He told me I could never afford that and reassured me multiple times that I’m being unrealistic and basically setting myself up to fail. One of the people I was closest to told me I would never succeed if I went after my goals. He did apologize after I started crying, but the words stuck with me. 

Considering Other Options

For a while, I forgot about New York and decided I would settle for being a bottle girl through college in Las Vegas. Because it was within driving distance of California, everyone supported this idea a lot more. They thought it was a lot more “realistic.” I thought this was a fun idea and an easy way to make money, but 2 things happened. 

I went to Vegas for a weekend and saw bottle girls. They were beautiful, but I could see the unhappiness in some of their eyes through the smile. I saw beautiful girls, but also saw that there was dark energy all around them. I didn’t want that for myself. 

The second thing that happened was that I started to have an overwhelming fear that I would die, knowing I had to settle for the life I was given rather than pursuing the life that I wanted. What a scary thought. 

The Universe Is Always Here For You: Start Manifesting

I knew I at least had to try. I had someone supporting me that I can always rely on, and so can you. The universe. I know it sounds cliché. But the universe is all I had. I decided it is truly time to manifest the life of my dreams. I put the idea that I was moving to New York back in my head, and I kept it there, never to leave again. 

Then I started building. Building the life of your dreams does take a lot of time, most being research and thinking. Opportunities are everywhere you just need to go out and find them, and you truly need to think about and know what you want out of life, so you know what to look for. That’s it, the rest falls into place magically on its own. 

So what did I do? I got accepted into all of the schools I applied for, I chose the one that works best for my lifestyle, and I registered for all of my classes. I will be moving to New York this fall to pursue an education in biology and will apply to medical school in 2 short years. 

Maybe the life you want isn’t unrealistic; you just haven’t decided to choose it yet.